why I don’t consider myself a feminist

Although feminism is supposed to promote equality, the name itself deters it from the ability to do so. Although the definition makes it clear that it is pushing for equality, it also points out that it is attempting to do so by focusing solely on women’s rights. Why not call the massive push for equality exactly what it is: the massive push for equality? Having the name of the advocacy for equality itself clearly favour one gender does not make any sense to me. 

Now before I get hate mail or angry feminists blowing me up, I am one hundred percent in favour of equality. I truly believe that in most things in life, no one gender is more capable or greater than the other. Of course, men are genetically built to be physically stronger and taller than women and women are genetically built to be more nurturing to the children that they birth, so on, so on, but generally speaking, both genders’ abilities are fairly equal.

There are great female CEOs and great male CEOs, great female dancers and great male dancers, great female engineers and great male engineers, etc. To think that, at some point, gender roles were incredibly oppressive, stripping people of both genders of their freedom to experience what would typically be a ‘man’s job’ or a ‘woman’s job’  is horrifying. There was no substance to claims that one gender could lead a company better than another; these claims were (excuse my French) bull crap. I believe that educational, professional, and career opportunities should be completely equal for both males and females and should not discriminate. However, I think that we should revel in the fact that men and women are so very unique and different, rather than trying to make two very different things the same. Oranges and apples are not the same, but they are equally important and should have equal opportunity. 

Now that my little disclaimer is out of the way, back to my point. In my personal experience, feminists have been known to take their ‘push for equality’ much too far, which I simply do not support or respect. I find that much too often nowadays, rather than choosing to fix discrimination by creating equality, people try to fix discrimination by simply switching it. Oh, a certain gender was discriminated against? Let’s fix it by discriminating against the other one instead! Oh, a certain race is discriminated against? Let’s fix it by discriminating against the discriminators instead! Fixing pain with pain and inequity with inequity will only snowball the problem into a much bigger one. It is unreasonable, especially because of the amount of pain or suffering that the victims went through, that those that were discriminated against would want to bring that same unrest upon anyone else. Why not instead be the bigger person (or group, as the case may be) and simply treat those who treated you poorly as you want to be treated, rather than how you were treated? Sure, it must be incredibly hard for these people to find it in their hearts to treat those that caused them so much turmoil kindly, but I genuinely believe that it can be done; it is the only way in which we will be able to put a stop to the circular pattern of discrimination and therefore help to our world be able to thrive. 

So, rather than focusing on females only, let’s continue to advocate for equality for both genders. Let’s not ignore the occasions in which women have pushed back so hard that they themselves have began to take away from men’s opportunities. Let’s not ignore it when the victims of discrimination become the enforcers of it, even if it is on a smaller scale. Let’s pay attention, say something, and continue to stand up for and protect those that are being treated unfairly. 

The simple truth is that this world will never achieve complete and true equality. There will probably always be an unequal number of men and women in parliament, or an unequal number of men and women in writing, or corporate positions, or acting positions, and so on. But rather than dwelling on that and allowing it to discourage us from attempting to make any change, let us instead focus on what we can do.

Frankly, men and women are not equal in a lot of ways. They are equal in importance and intelligence, but it’s simply untrue to say that they are equal in ability in every way. There are and will always be things that each gender can do better than the other one. Rather than trying to ignore or push aside that obvious truth, I think it is important to accept and cherish our valuable differences, while still being offered the same opportunity. Feminism, to me, has become a drive towards the idea of men and women being equal in all ways, rather than in men and women having equal opportunities, as it should be. 

I believe that in choosing to support equality rather than feminism, I am aiding in that little push towards equality. Back in the day, before women had rights, feminism itself was necessary and is the sole reason that the playing fields have become much more balanced in this day and age. However, now that things have evened out greatly, and women are much more often getting the equal opportunity that they deserve, I believe that we can replace feminism with a push for equality. I highly appreciate, value, and respect the things that feminism has done for women in the past, but believe that it is now time to choose to advocate for equality in a different way and under a different name. 

Thanks for reading and allowing me this platform to express my ideas. 

Yours truly,