blog posts

live with Hope

I never thought that I would have to write something like this. It feels wrong and I don’t really know how to start.

My cousin and lifelong best friend is gone and I miss her so much.

I wanted to share the light that Hope Mackenzie was and always will be.

Hope and I always talked about how lucky we were to have found a best friend within a family member. I know now that it wouldn’t have been enough time if we had met later in life. We needed all 18 years together so that I could have sweet memories of my angel to get me through the rest of my years here.

If I could describe Hope in one word, it would definitely be angelic. She was the kindest and most pure hearted girl. Never a bad intention. Never an angry thought. She made everyone around her feel so special and loved. She was incredibly thoughtful, always remembering what was going on in your life. She gave the most thoughtful gifts. She gave me my Christmas gift a week before she died and it will forever be my favourite gift.

Hope always made time for the people that she loved. She cherished her family, best friends, and boyfriend and made sure that they were always aware of that. She never said goodbye without saying I love you. 

Hope was an amazing listener, making her an even better best friend. We used to send each other videos and FaceTimed on a regular basis. We would take turns explaining scenarios from our lives, listening and validating, and then offering advice and future support. That is priceless. I miss it every day.

Hopey was also hilarious. Anyone who met or knew her could attest to that. She had such a quirky sense of humour and constantly put me in hysterics with her explanations of her thought processes and inner commentary. We were constantly staying up way too late giggling about anything and everything and then napping all day to make up for it.

I miss her love and light endlessly.

I could go on and on and on and on about life when Hope was here with us. But let me just say this: Hope is not gone. I feel her and I talk to her. She’s with me when I need strength.

The hurt of missing her will never go away. But I know she would not want my life to stop just because hers did. I try every day to live full of happiness, doing things I love, and spending time with sunshine-y people. I want to make sure to live every one of my days to the fullest because she won’t get the chance.

I got a ‘Hope’ tattoo two days after she died and I love having the physical representation of her constantly being with me. I want to take her everywhere she would have loved to go.

Most importantly, I want to live like Hope.

She will always be a powerful example of kindness, selflessness, and unconditional love and I want to keep that legacy alive.

I encourage all of us to not only live like Hope but to also live with Hope. Hope for love and light and positivity and new chances and opportunities.

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